Being a parent is hard.

No one prepares you for all the mom guilt you’re going to have.  No one prepares you for all the emotions that you will experience on a day to day basis. No one prepares you for parenting, especially if you have more than 1 child.

Yes parenting, even just 1 child is hard, challenging and rewarding all at the same time, but when there are a few extra children added into the family … life gets more complicated!

My daughter was just 2 when the twins were born. Her world was turned around when her sisters were born.  2 more babies that needed mom and dad’s attention.  2 more babies that took time away from her and her parents.  She didn’t really understand what was going on. She just wanted to spend time with her mom during the day and time with dad when he got home from work at night.

I remember thinking to myself, “This is not fair for Avery to have to deal with this.  She didn’t ask to have 2 sisters.  Why should she not have just as much attention as her sisters right now” Oh the mom guilt … and hormones … and sleep deprivation, and everything else! So I made a point from that moment on to spend time with her when her sisters napped.  It was mom and Avery time.  We did crafts, coloured, baked, read books, worked out and painted! I will never forget the smile on her face when she knew it was mom and Avery time !

Fast forward 4 years, I have still made a point on spending 1 on 1 time with my daughters.  I will take them out on separate dates. They will take turns staying up a little later to spend time with both my husband and I.  What I love the most is that every single day, I spend 15 minutes alone with each one of them.  15 minutes where I am not preoccupied by my phone, computer, cooking, cleaning etc. 15 minutes where they get to pick the activity and they have moms full attention and they get attention that they deserve.  During this time, the other 2 girls will go and play by themselves or with each other and wait for their turn to have 1 on 1 time with me.

They look forward to this time! 15 minutes might not seem like a long time, but when you have 3 children and life is busy trying to balance work and being a mom, it’s all I can give them right now. This isn’t saying that I’m not spending time with them outside the 15 minutes.  We are constantly doing things together as a family, but I think it’s important for my daughter’s mental well being to have alone, 1 on 1 time with me (and their dad when he’s not working).  They feel heard. They feel important. They feel appreciated.  To me, it’s worth having a messy house or eat dinner a little later then expected just to spend time with my daughters!

Do I still have mom guilt … Yes … but the guilt is a lot less after I spend time with my daughters listening to what they have to say, looking them in their eyes when they speak and learning about what happened at school that day.  I feel more connected and present in their life by spending 15 minutes a day with them!


Tell me … do you spend 1 on 1 time with your children? What do you do?




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